In today’s polarised world, discussing politics or social views with friends and family can feel like walking through a minefield. Emotions run high, opinions clash, and what starts as a casual chat can quickly spiral into a heated argument. But it doesn’t have to be that way. By using Socratic questioning—a method rooted in asking thoughtful, open-ended questions to explore ideas and challenge assumptions—you can foster understanding, encourage reflection, and keep the conversation productive. Below, we’ll explore how this approach works, why it’s effective, and provide specific Socratic questions to guide your next tricky discussion.
Why Socratic Questions Work –
The Socratic method, inspired by the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, isn’t about winning an argument or proving someone wrong. Instead, it’s about digging deeper into why people believe what they do, uncovering the reasoning behind their views, and inviting them to examine their own assumptions. This approach shifts the dynamic from confrontation to curiosity, making it less about “me vs. you” and more about “let’s figure this out together.” When done with genuine respect and patience, it can defuse tension and open the door to real dialogue.
Setting the Stage for a Good Conversation
Before diving into questions, set a positive tone. Start by affirming your relationship—“I really value our talks, even when we see things differently”—and express your intent: “I’d love to understand your perspective better.” This signals that you’re not out to attack or judge. Then, lean on Socratic questions to guide the discussion naturally.
Key Socratic Questions to Tackle Tricky Subjects
Here are some practical questions to use when discussing politics or social views. They’re designed to encourage reflection, clarify thinking, and keep the conversation moving forward without escalating into a fight.
1. What do you think is the most important issue here?
This question invites the other person to prioritise their concerns, giving you insight into what drives their stance. It also helps focus the discussion on what matters most to them.
2. Why do you feel that way?
Simple but powerful, this prompts them to explain the reasoning or experiences behind their view. It’s a gentle way to dig deeper without sounding accusatory.
3. What would it look like if things were handled differently?
This encourages them to imagine alternatives, shifting the focus from defending their position to exploring possibilities. It can reveal whether they’ve considered other angles.
4. How do you think this affects people who see it the opposite way?
This question nudges them toward empathy, asking them to step into someone else’s shoes. It’s a subtle way to broaden their perspective without directly challenging their beliefs.
5. What evidence or experiences shaped your view on this?
By asking for the “why” behind their opinion, you get a window into their logic or personal story. It also invites them to reflect on whether their stance holds up under scrutiny.
6. What would change your mind?
This is a bold one—it tests how open they are to rethinking their position and highlights whether their view is flexible or rigid. If they say “nothing,” it’s a clue to pivot to a less contentious topic.
7. How do you think we could find common ground here?
This shifts the focus to collaboration, signalling that you’re not just debating for the sake of it. It can de-escalate tension and uncover shared values.
Putting It Into Practice: A Sample Scenario
Imagine your uncle says, “The government should just stop meddling in healthcare—it’s a disaster.” Instead of firing back with stats or a counterargument, try this:
- “What do you think is the biggest problem with government involvement?” (Pinpoints his core issue.)
- “Why do you think it’s gotten to that point?” (Explores his reasoning.)
- “What would healthcare look like if the government stepped back completely?” (Invites him to flesh out his vision.)
- “How do you think that would impact people who are dependent on the NHS, due to disability?” (Encourages empathy for others.)
These questions don’t attack his view—they ask him to explain it. You might learn his stance comes from a frustrating personal experience, not just blind ideology, or you may want to do some more research yourself. And by listening, you build trust, making him more open to hearing your side later.
Tips for Success
- Stay Curious, Not Combative: Ask with a tone of genuine interest, not sarcasm or scepticism. “That’s interesting—can you tell me more?” works better than “How can you possibly think that?”
- Listen Actively: Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Reflect back what they say—“So you’re saying X because of Y, right?”—to show you’re engaged.
- Know When to Pause: If emotions flare, step back. “I’m glad we’re talking about this—maybe we can pick it up later?” keeps the door open without forcing it.
The Bigger Picture
Using Socratic questions isn’t about changing someone’s mind on the spot—though it might plant seeds for reflection. It’s about understanding each other better and preserving the relationship despite differences. In a world where politics and social views can divide, asking “Why do you think that?” instead of shouting “You’re wrong!” is a small but radical act of connection. It can be very hard to do this and it takes patience and practice. Especially if you are passionate about a topic!
So, next time you’re facing a tricky subject with friends or family, give these questions a try. You might be surprised at where the conversation leads—and what you both discover along the way. What do you think—how could this approach work for you?
General Socratic Questions:
- What do you mean by that? Encourages the person to define their terms or clarify vague statements (e.g., “What do you mean when you say ‘freedom’ is at risk?”).
- Why do you think this is true? Probes the reasoning or evidence behind their belief (e.g., “Why do you think men can identify as women?”).
- Can you give me an example of what you’re describing? Asks for concrete instances to ground abstract ideas (e.g., “Can you give an example of a policy you think is unfair?”).
- What would happen if the opposite were true? Invites them to consider an alternative perspective (e.g., “What would happen if the government didn’t regulate that?”).
- How did you come to this conclusion? Explores the process or experiences that shaped their view (e.g., “How did you decide this is the best solution?”).
Questions to Uncover Assumptions
- What are we assuming here? Highlights unspoken beliefs that might need examining (e.g., “What are we assuming about how people will react to this law?”).
- Why do you think this is a problem in the first place? Challenges whether the issue is as significant as they believe (e.g., “Why do you think Climate change is a crisis?”).
- Is there another way to look at this? Gently suggests there might be multiple valid perspectives (e.g., “Is there another way to see the immigration debate?”).
Questions to Encourage Reflection
- What would it take for you to see this differently? Tests the flexibility of their stance (e.g., “What would it take for you to support a different approach?”).
- How does this fit with what you’ve said before? Checks for consistency in their reasoning (e.g., “How does this view on spending align with what you said about debt?”).
- What’s the best outcome you’re hoping for? Shifts focus to goals rather than disagreements (e.g., “What’s the best outcome you’d want from this policy?”).
Questions to Build Empathy and Common Ground
- How do you think others feel about this? Encourages them to consider opposing viewpoints (e.g., “How do you think workers feel about raising the minimum wage?”).
- What do we both agree on here? Identifies shared values to build on (e.g., “What do we both agree on about healthcare?”).
- How could this affect someone in a different situation? Broadens their perspective (e.g., “How could this tax cut affect someone who owns a business?”).
Questions for Deeper Exploration
- What’s the most important principle behind your view? Uncovers the core values driving their position (e.g., “What’s the most important principle behind your stance on free speech?”).
- If you were in charge, what would you do? Pushes them to think practically about solutions (e.g., “If you were in charge, how would you fix education?”).
- What are the consequences of sticking with this idea? Explores the implications of their position (e.g., “What are the consequences of keeping things as they are?”).